How do you recognize your calling?


How do you recognize a calling?

Tara tells us to look for one or more of these clues….

1. You feel an unusually vivid pain or frustration around the status quo of a particular issue or topic. You strongly feel or clearly see what’s lacking.

2. You see a powerful vision–vague or clear–about what could be. That vision keeps filling your mind or tugging at your heart.

3. You feel inspired or even compelled to act. You have a mysterious, felt sense of “This work is mine to do.” You feel as if you’ve received an assignment, rather than that you chose the particular task or cause.

4. You find that actually doing the calling is a magical, strengthening process. While your inner critic might show up now and then, and while it’s hard work, you receive energy and a sense of meaning, and rightness, from doing it. You feel a kind of flow while working on it.

And… (these are the most important – and most surprising qualities of a calling)

5. You feel huge resistance. A part of you wants to run the other direction. You feel like the task is huge, and you just couldn’t possibly be up to it. It feels like this upends your plans, and doesn’t quite fit with what is convenient in your life. Keep this in mind: in the archetypal hero’s journey, step 1 is “hearing the call”. Step 2? “Resisting the call.” It’s normal. It’s part of the process. The key is eventually surrendering that resistance and stepping into the calling.

6. You don’t – yet—have everything you need to have to complete it. It’s not just irrational fear talking. It’s the truth. You don’t have everything you need. There is work to do, resources you will need to gather, and things you will need to make happen. That is a part of the beautiful stretch of the calling.

7. You aren’t – yet – the person you need to be to complete the calling. It’s true. It’s not just your inner critic. You aren’t quite up to the task. You don’t have all the qualities and strength you’ll need. And you’ll get them by doing the calling. Callings always grow us in some meaningful way. You will have to evolve, develop new capacities, and show up to life in new ways.

Now that you know about qualities 5, 6, & 7, what looks different in your life? What might you do differently, when it comes to that which you feel called to do

Thanks for sharing this with us Tara! See original post here.

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Rules for being Human

All of this is dope.

This came across my desk a few times today and I thought it might inspire/encourage some of you!  Before we can really process numbers 2-8 I think we should deeply consider number 1.  Many of us think  “it can never happen to me.”  How untrue?!  The proverbial “it” can always happen to us. Even if we’re as healthy and careful as possible “it” can always happen.  But consider this:  Though we may suffer health issues that are out of our control, we still must treasure the gift God has given us in our bodies.  Our grandkids will thank us when we still have the energy to play with them.

-Jovian Zayne (@Jovizi)

During this time in your life, which rule for being human resonates with you the most?



1. You will receive a body. You may like or you may hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work”.

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned,

6. There is no better than “here”. When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will, again, look better than “here”.

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you, You will have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. The answer lies inside you. The answers to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

English: Human body external features
English: Human body external features (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is it okay to live with your parents post college?


This NY Times article describes a new phenomenon pushing many new college grads out of the nest and right back again. A boomerang effect if you will.  What all would you do to stay OUT of your parent’s house post graduation. Did you even have that option? If you did,  did you take it? Why or why not? Are we any less grown up if we need a few months back in the nest?

Tell us your story!

Just when parents thought they might finally be free of their children, many of this year’s college graduates will pick up their degrees — and move back home. Even those who don’t may continue to live off the parental dole; at the start of HBO’s hit series “Girls,” Hannah, played by Lena Dunham, is trying to keep the monthly checks from Mom and Dad coming. The fragile economy could exacerbate the phenomenon of delayed adolescence, keeping Americans in their late 20s and even early 30s dependent on their families for years.

But this is not necessarily the nightmare scenario it’s made out to be. Our research shows that the closer bonds between young adults and their parents should be celebrated, and do not necessarily compromise the independence of the next generation.

Grown children benefit greatly from parental help. Young adults who received financial, practical and emotional support from their parents reported clearer life goals and more satisfaction than young adults who received less parental support. This support ranged from room and board to making a car available, to parents’ listening to their son or daughter talk about the day.

Twenty-five years ago, young people sought advice and help from naïve peers. Today’s young adults may be savvier than their predecessors; they receive advice and help from middle-aged adults with greater life experience and material resources to offer.

This relationship has been evolving over the last generation.

In 1986, about half of parents reported that they had spoken with a grown child in the past week. In 2008, 87 percent said they had. In 1988, less than half of parents gave advice to a grown child in the past month, and fewer than one in three had provided any hands-on help. Recent data show that nearly 90 percent of parents give advice and 70 percent provide some type of practical assistance every month.

It turns out that many parents and children want this close contact. We first observed a shift in this relationship in 1999, when the economy was booming. Even before the cellphone era, many 20-something women talked with their mothers several times a week. They discussed boyfriend problems, classes and plans for the future. They brought home their laundry, went shopping with their mothers and even pronounced their mothers (and sometimes their fathers) their “best friends.” Their descriptions might have seemed cloying, yet the mothers involved said that they were thrilled. They took pride in their daughters and reveled in the intimacy.

These trends have accelerated over the past 10 years. Adult offspring today text their parents often, befriend them on Facebook and willingly accept emotional support, advice and a financial boost. Young men are as likely to be involved with parents as young women.

The benefits of parental involvement are not surprising from a global perspective. In other cultures and among many ethnic subcultures in America, young adults are expected to be intensely involved with their parents. Romantic relationships and marriage were the ties of primary importance in the United States during the 20th century. But in this new century, with delays in marriage, more Americans choosing to remain single, and high divorce rates, a tie to a parent may be the most important bond in a young adult’s life.

Technological and economic developments have contributed to this shift. Nationwide cellphone calling plans and e-mail ease communication. Young people spend extra years in school to pursue well-paying careers. Teenagers who don’t go on to higher education need even more parental support while they work at low-paying jobs with irregular hours. The economic downturn did not push kids out of the family.

Although this parental support seems to be a good thing, the new arrangements also rankle many people and violate ideals of autonomy that have long prevailed in this nation.

In our surveys, parents and grown children alike reported uneasiness, viewing intense parental support in adulthood as a sign of damaging over-involvement. Parents reported less satisfaction about their own lives if they believed their children were too dependent. The problem isn’t with the help, per se, but with viewing that support as abnormal and worrying that it could cause harm. Maybe we just need to get over this discomfort.

In fact, we could be celebrating the strong bonds between today’s young people and their parents, rather than lamenting the foibles of the next generation. Forty years ago, the news media were filled with reports of a generation gap. Let’s be grateful that we’ve finally solved that problem.


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Andre 3000 in Jimi Hendrix biopic

EXCLUSIVE: Andre 3000 seen on the film set, 'All is by my side' in Ireland

How are excited are you for this biopic? I’m definitely interested to see how it plays out. Here’s a quick update from Huffpo.


The buzz continues to build for Andre 3000′s Jimi Hendrix biopic, and now there’s a photo to go with the anticipation.

The Outkast rapper was snapped in full costume on the set, with a full afro and some stylish ’60s threads to match. Check out the photo below and vote on whether or not you think 3000 can pull it off.


What happens when an artist expects applause?

Screen shot 2012-05-15 at 1.09.10 PM

Below you’ll see a great post by Seth Godin. I shared this on my personal blog, but thought it could also be interesting for the Wondaland community and other artists.

In a time when we’re all constantly producing new content whether that’s a new internet show, or posting new family vacation photos on Facebook, we’re pushing ourselves to be more responsive to a “like, retweet, or comment.”  I’ll be the first to admit that at times I’ve been disheartened when I didn’t get the response or generate the kind of buzz I expected after posting a link/show/picture on any of my online properties. And it makes perfect sense. I’ve taken the 5 love languages quiz (take yours here) and wasn’t shocked to find out that “words of affirmation” was my #1 love language. I grew up in a home where the phrases “I love you” + “I’m so proud of you” + ” you can do anything Jovian” were as pervasive as our wallpaper. Plus, as a long time athlete I’ve always been driven by a coach’s encouraging words/praise.

…And there it is. The truth. I like making people proud. I like representing  women who look like me. BUT these feelings are juxtaposed with my belief in the Toltec principles, “The Four Agreements,” specifically the agreement that says “Always Do Your Best.”  (see my previous post about the agreements here).

Seth Godin echos many of the sentiments described in the fourth agreement.  If we’re doing our best, and doing it for ourselves and for the sake of our purpose, why do we need to be motivated by other’s approval?

Take a look at Seth’s post and share your thoughts. I’ll be sharing more of mine on an upcoming episode of “Side a Fries.”

Don’t expect applause

Accept applause, sure, please do.

But when you expect applause, when you do your work in order (and because of) applause, you have sold yourself short. That’s because your work is depending on something out of your control. You have given away part of your art. If your work is filled with the hope and longing for applause, it’s no longer your work–the dependence on approval has corrupted it, turned it into a process where you are striving for ever more approval.

Who decides if your work is good? When you are at your best, you do. If the work doesn’t deliver on its purpose, if the pot you made leaks or the hammer your forged breaks, then you should learn to make a better one. But we don’t blame the nail for breaking the hammer or the water for leaking from the pot. They are part of the system, just as the market embracing your product is part of marketing.

“Here, here it is, it’s finished.”

If it’s finished, the applause, the thanks, the gratitude are something else. Something extra and not part of what you created. To play a beautiful song for two people or a thousand is the same song, and the amount of thanks you receive isn’t part of that song.


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