Acting is the weirdest thing ever

character-acting

So yesterday I filmed an audition to send to the folks over at FESTA for their summer production of Romeo and Juliet in Florence, Italy and let me tell ya…

Acting is the weirdest thing ever. I have been studying this strange thing I was born to do for the past two years and have one more year left. I practice my craft every day but yesterday was interesting. Yesterday was the first time that I have had a difficult time shaking the emotions I experienced in my work once I snapped back to “reality,” whatever that is… Any way. It took a bagillion takes for me to get the “right” take to send off and I was just getting frustrated. I was frustrated that I made the idiotic decision to select the most emotional moment in the play to do my monologue from. What was I thinking? I was having a difficult time in my rehearsals of it and I just couldn’t emotionally connect to the work. I thought of every sad thing in the world in an attempt to get me to the place I needed to be at to start the monologue and nothing was working.

Finally…

A classic Brittany Denyse meltdown was all it took to for me to get a take I was content with sending off.

The person who filmed for me (God bless her) was so patient with me and continuously encouraged me to try new things. Finally she suggested that I do the monologue really big and crazy with no concern with being good. I did that and it was the WORST rendition of Juliet in the history of existence. UGH! It was just bad. It was so bad that I finally broke down and cried like the baby I am at how horrible of an actor I am. Mind you the camera was still rolling. (Yes I have footage of this. No I will not show anyone!) Then it hit me! I needed to begin from that place. I began the monologue and finally was emotionally connected… to something. How much I suck at this!

Anyway, I finished filming and left to go to a friend’s gathering. I thought I would be able to relax and enjoy myself but it took sooooooooooo long for me to finally be in Mykal world, not crazy Juliet-actor-filming-I suck-world. It made me crazy. It made me wonder, what in the world is acting? And why would any person in his or her right mind choose to do something as crazy as becoming someone else over and over again?

A person in his or her right mind wouldn’t do it. Only crazy people do. Actors are crazy. We really are just plain ol’ crazy. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cheers!

-Mykal Monroe

** I went ahead and decided to expose myself in as much as I have in the above text. You can see the aforementioned meltdown here:

14 Comments

  1. Avi

    You’re so humble and this post is so sincere. I don’t know about the crazy actors world but can figure out they really are nuts just by thinking that everything I see in the movies is fake, they’re playing with our minds, renarrating us a story, but we feel its so real (then so real: surreal). I hope your recording moves those people, its all about impact, and that you become the actress you want to be.
    Dont give up for the things you really want in life, Ill add YOLO right here.
    Oh, and I would be the worst actress ever, I dont like cameras, nor talk in front of them, and would lmao if I had to act in front of them. Dont even compare to that!

  2. Wow… this post is intense… but I’m glad you were able to share it. I think you’d get used to it over time. Good luck with pursuing your passion. cheers~!

  3. rebeKah

    Thank you for the very sincere yet funny (sorry!) post. I hate ANY feeling of vulnerability and marvel at actors. Two of my siblings have made it their life’s work… impressive and scary. Permitting oneself to “commit to the character” is just terrifyingly draining. It makes the best actors, though. Bravo to you- I couldn’t do it. Hope you get the gig!

  4. Mykal Monroe

    Thanks everyone!

    And no worries about me. Self deprecation is a part of the act. Or is it?

    *Insert evil laugh here*

  5. Wow, this reminds me of what I use to go through in school preparing for monologue readings and theater shows, too! I can completely relate to how you felt. It’s been a while since I’ve acted in a play on stage, but I definitely bring a bit of that same element to my self-portrait photography.

    This video is beautiful and thank you for sharing!:) Wishing you the best of luck booking the gig, too! :)

  6. Wow, this reminds me of what I use to go through in school preparing for monologue readings and theater shows, too! I can completely relate to how you felt. It’s been a while since I’ve acted in a play on stage, but I definitely bring a bit of that same element to my self-portrait photography.

    This video is beautiful and thank you for sharing!:) Wishing you the best of luck booking the gig, too! :)

  7. This is sort of why I almost fear going to the acting world- being stuck in a character’s world after the camera stops rolling. You know how dangerous that can be when you continue on w/ a character – you stop being you. There has to be process to help transition from acting to “reality” state what ever that is…[sigh] still have to take risks though. Thank you for sharing. That was real.

  8. actresses tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves, but you’ll be aight just roll them up sometimes brit/mykal and you’ll do fine… -bubz

  9. I’m glad you shared this! Going through the same process right now – I’m in college andcast in a show and I leave the rehearsals feeling like crap. I guess it’s because learning and doing hurts.I do think, as you stated, it’s a part of the game and it helps us grown. We just, as any artist, have to let ourselves go and just be horrible before we can be great. And I KNOW, it’s so much easier to say or write than to actually do, because I’ll probably keep feeling bad about my acting despite, and you may continue to cry. You’re so open and honest in sharing this though – it will serve you well. Stay up!

  10. bla0929

    Some time it seems like your messing up alot but you dont realize the whole time your building your self up for the big finish. You if you would of given up you would of never reached the emotional state that you needed to be in the perform that monologue. Once you hit the bottom the only other place you can go is UP! it was very inspirational! Good Job and Good Luck

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