So yesterday I filmed an audition to send to the folks over at FESTA for their summer production of Romeo and Juliet in Florence, Italy and let me tell ya…
Acting is the weirdest thing ever. I have been studying this strange thing I was born to do for the past two years and have one more year left. I practice my craft every day but yesterday was interesting. Yesterday was the first time that I have had a difficult time shaking the emotions I experienced in my work once I snapped back to “reality,” whatever that is… Any way. It took a bagillion takes for me to get the “right” take to send off and I was just getting frustrated. I was frustrated that I made the idiotic decision to select the most emotional moment in the play to do my monologue from. What was I thinking? I was having a difficult time in my rehearsals of it and I just couldn’t emotionally connect to the work. I thought of every sad thing in the world in an attempt to get me to the place I needed to be at to start the monologue and nothing was working.
A classic Brittany Denyse meltdown was all it took to for me to get a take I was content with sending off.
The person who filmed for me (God bless her) was so patient with me and continuously encouraged me to try new things. Finally she suggested that I do the monologue really big and crazy with no concern with being good. I did that and it was the WORST rendition of Juliet in the history of existence. UGH! It was just bad. It was so bad that I finally broke down and cried like the baby I am at how horrible of an actor I am. Mind you the camera was still rolling. (Yes I have footage of this. No I will not show anyone!) Then it hit me! I needed to begin from that place. I began the monologue and finally was emotionally connected… to something. How much I suck at this!
Anyway, I finished filming and left to go to a friend’s gathering. I thought I would be able to relax and enjoy myself but it took sooooooooooo long for me to finally be in Mykal world, not crazy Juliet-actor-filming-I suck-world. It made me crazy. It made me wonder, what in the world is acting? And why would any person in his or her right mind choose to do something as crazy as becoming someone else over and over again?
A person in his or her right mind wouldn’t do it. Only crazy people do. Actors are crazy. We really are just plain ol’ crazy. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
** I went ahead and decided to expose myself in as much as I have in the above text. You can see the aforementioned meltdown here: